It's Always The Leader's Fault

In partner dancing, when something goes wrong, it's always the leader's fault. The leader is responsible for the creation of a good dance and the follower's job is to try their best and have fun.

Consider the opposite idea, that if something goes wrong, it's always the follower's fault. You can see this mentality often with bad leads. They ask the follower to do something impossible or dangerous, or they ask in a way that is incomprehensible to the follower and expect the follower to just do it anyway. They stop dancing and start lecturing the follower about how the move works, so why can't they just do it? You can watch in real time as the joy drains out of the follower's eyes and they start to feel embarrassed, ashamed or, god forbid, bored.

The leader of the dance has more control, they are the ones picking the moves and location on the dance floor to do them. If a follower cannot physically do the move the leader asked for, the leader should not have asked. If the leader asks for the move poorly, how should the follower know what to do? If the leader has them dancing next to a wall and a couple that is too close, the leader should have found a different location.

This doesn't mean followers are always perfect or that they can't improve their skills. It means that in the moment of dancing, if something goes wrong, the leader is responsible by default for the communication and situation that led to that outcome. It's the joy of leading, because if a bad dance is always the leader's fault, then the good dances are always the leader's fault too.